2/12/05 10:00 pm
I really must settle down before I release what happened today.
[After I had a drink of wine, my house-maid came to my door and gave me the notice that my diamonds were been found. They were missing today.]
I do not know who took them, but it has made me rather distressed. I felt like tearing off my pearl-engraved white wig today during rehearsal. My comrade and friend, Carlotta, has informed me that it not some random occurance that my jewelery vanished from my very neck- but that there is a superstition of a ghost. That he lives in the Opera and haunts behind the and below the stage- the cellars have always given me the chills but nothing that I worry about.
It is no wonder that the young dancers flee to my room on occasion. I never took notice of what they said until this happened to me today! I hope that these tricks and foolishness end soon.
I have hopes that that the "Persian" as he calls himself, does not enter my quarters while I am there again. It was outlandish as he entered, I was not even ready for performing. "The dance of Adonis" is one of my favorites, and as upsetting as it was- I was able to perform as any night. But the reason the Persian gave for enterring at all was that "It is not safe for anyone to be out in the hall right now. [and some muttering to himself that I could not understand]" then the quiet man I had only seen once before excused himself and asked that I not leave the room until someone came to get me! How obsurd! I don't know what made him so outright to enter my room, uninvtied and unnanounced. What a day!
I do think that I shall invite some friends over tomorrow's eve for a dinner party. I have a good need for a drunken good time. Not since I have been in Paris (and not in my country side home) have I had a dinner-event. Maybe after tomorrow, and I've had a successful gathering, I may invite others over and plan a themed party! The idea is delightful. But what should my theme be? Oh I have friends and time to figure this out.
I will of course be sure to invite the Opera's dancers, most good friends, my fellow Prima Donna- "La Carlotta" as her playbill says, my dear friend Philippe of course too! I just don't know what to think of him, we have talked plenty of times and are quite close. If in fact the rumor is true that he does think more of me that just an opera-singer, I would be very pleased. Who wouldnt? I admire him, but I'm too shy to make my move of course. And it is not the right place for a woman to make the initial move.
I have often wondered about why I sing and dance instead of have a husband and stay at home. I get butterflies when I'm all ready to perform, I love the feeling when I entertain. Duets are gorgeous. The exhilerating sense that I am someone's center stage makes me smile anytime I think of it. The opera gives me a chance to live another life for two hours a night. Saturday night is my favorite night to sing. Other performers have their camps from all around- it is not a weekday. The camps cheer and I simply love that extra feeling of competition and success! A night for all nights to love.